The Ceremony: Somebody's Gotta Do It

Wedding officiants. You can't have a wedding ceremony without one. Yes, they sign the paperwork and organize a 20-30 minute ceremony. But honestly...that's it. So WHY do they have to be so costly?

We're on a tight budget, so I definitely did my research. I e-mailed numerous officiants. $400. $500. One reverend even said he "asks for a $700 donation." $700? You've got to be kidding. At this point I'm thinking: Can we just have my little brother, some family member, ordained online?

Luckily, my future mother-in-law, upon hearing our frustrations, found a local officiant with good reviews and offered to pay for his services as a gift! Thank you very much!

A little about our ceremony: Groom 3000 and I are not particularly religious, so we're not getting married in a church. Our ceremony will be in the evening on an outdoor patio at the same venue as our reception. Very convenient for our guests! The ceremony site looks out over the entire golf course with the Catoctin Mountains rising in the horizon. It looks beautiful at sunset!

Groom3K and I did not know much about what we wanted in our ceremony, only that we want it to be about 30 minutes (it's an important moment and deserves substance) and we want to write our own vows. Other than that, no clue.

In comes Pastor Bill.

Pastor Bill's been doing this for a while and will offer us documents with examples of readings and unity ceremonies, tips on how to write your own vows, and sample ceremony timelines. AWESOME. I can't wait to see them! A few interesting snippets from our conversation:

1) He asked if any of our family members were particularly religious. My grammy is a fairly devote Catholic and was kinda shocked to hear I would not marry in a Catholic church. Pastor Bill suggested we include a sample from the Bible in our readings. He called it "throwing grandma a bone." I think this could be a great homage to my Catholic upbringing.

2) Because of our outdoor ceremony location, Pastor Bill advises us to not opt for a unity candle ceremony. For those unfamiliar, a unity candle ceremony involves the mother of the bride and groom lighting a candle each, and the bride and groom lighting their own candle from those flames and joining them in another bigger candle--unifying the flames and the families. Groom3000 is very interested in having this ceremony as a part of our wedding (both his and my parents did this) and was disappointed when Pastor Bill said it probably won't work (a blown out candle is not a positive symbol at a wedding). Momma3000 had a great idea--use hurricane glasses to protect the flames!
Photo Source: www.mydreamwedding.ca


3) Something that caught me off guard: Pastor Bill does not write the majority of his ceremony speech until the day before the wedding! "I'm a procrastinator," he said. At first, this freaked me out. Um, a little unprepared, no? His explanation: he likes to include any last minute details that may come up at the wedding rehearsal, and, he has to "get in the zone." As a writer, I know ALL about getting in the zone--waiting for days until the inspiration fairy finally finds you.

So cross "Find an officiant" off the list. WOOT! I think I like the idea of exploring cake options next. I'm not a huge fan of cake, but Groom3000 could be the president of the fan club.

Venue-shopping: Third time's the charm

Just coming off Spring Break and boy, there’s a whole different view from here. To be honest, going into Spring Break, I felt stressed out again. We originally planned to see four different venues, all near Frederick, Md.

Venue 1: a circa 1888 mansion popularly used for weddings (they do over 200 a year!) Although Groom300 and I originally thought this place would be the ideal venue for our wedding, we left with mixed feelings. The ceremony site is gorgeous with a beautiful white pergola (aka greenery-covered pavilion thing) and a small pond that grows lily pads and flowers. But, when it comes down to it, the reception is where the party’s at, right? We really needed an indoor reception site (we don’t like the idea of being out in the rain or our elderly relatives having to stay out in the heat for very long). The reception room was nice, but actually a little cramped (and by that, I mean the DJ gets shoved in a corner). There were fairly large pillars on the corners of the centrally-located dance floor that probably would block some unfortunate guest’s view of everything. Good crab dip, though.

Venue 2: a country club/golf club on a hill off a major highway. I’d driven past this place on my way to and from Groom3000’s house so many times, I had to give it a look. My initial impression: the highway noise is almost deafening. Don’t you need concentration and quiet when golfing? The outdoor ceremony would have to take place in the front lawn of the club, with a splendid view of the traffic! (I can just imagine: “You may kiss the bride” “WHAT?” “YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE” “OHH!”) Aside from that, the indoor reception hall was… well, in the words of Groom3000, like a funeral parlor—dark and dim, and probably full of old fogies when the club’s open. The event coordinator also let me down—instead of inviting us to sit down and chat; we all stood awkwardly in the lobby for 20 minutes. We knew that place was out as soon as we left.

Venue 3: a fairly new banquet hall at a golf club with a gorgeous view of the Catoctin Mountains. (Can you guess which one we picked?) It’s everything we wanted. A beautiful outdoor ceremony space: a stone patio with a backdrop of the green golf course, the Catoctin Mountains and valley (no highways!), and the sunset. The reception hall is very open with beautiful high ceilings, cream colored walls and dark candelabra light fixtures and exposed wooden beams, built-in dance floor, and LOTS of big windows so everyone can see the great view. Groom3000 and I loved it almost immediately—so much so that we cancelled our fourth venue visit!

Reception Hall! Photo courtesy of weddingwire.com

Now that the date is set (June 26, 2011), the contract signed, and the deposit paid (thanks to Mom and Dad 3000), I do feel a huge relief knowing the wedding will happen, even if it means I’m wearing a white sheet down the aisle.

“It’s all downhill from here,” said DaddyO3000, but as of last week, that wasn’t quite right. Mom3000 said while I was home for break, we might as well book some vendors. Who knew choosing a photographer would be so stressful? Don’t you just stand, smile, and then click? NOPE. That’s a whole ‘nother story for next time.